


Flowers for you

by PinkLotus (EspurrsVena)



Category: JO1 (Japan Band), Produce 101 Japan
Genre: Alternate Universe - School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hanahaki AU, Idol AU, M/M, No Beta, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22927165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EspurrsVena/pseuds/PinkLotus
Summary: Hanahaki AU collection.1: Lilies & Violets (RenKumi & JunKeigo)2: Breath (Tibet Fox brothers)3: Unknown Affection (YasuRuki)4: Flower Festival (RenSei & TsuruKita)5: Forget-me-not (RenKumi, slight JunKeigo)
Relationships: Honda Kosuke/Shiroiwa Ruki, Kawanishi Takumi/Kawashiri Ren, Kawashiri Ren/Ohira Shosei, Kinjo Sukai/Kawashiri Ren, Kitagawa Reito/Tsurubo Shion, Kono Junki/Sato Keigo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	1. Lilies and Violets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren and Junki both developed the Hanahaki disease after seeing Takumi & Keigo together. Yet both deal differently with it... 

**_Pairings: **Ren x Takumi (onesided?), Junki x Keigo (onesided?), Takumi x Keigo (?), Ren x Junki (platonic)  
**Canon AU****_ **

********

********

**Lilies and violets**

Ren didn’t know what hurt more. Seeing Takumi with someone else or throwing up those pink lilies. Why did life punish him twice, he wondered. He had tried to win Takumi’s heart yet it was not enough. He was not enough.  
One day, Keigo just came along and wowed the pink haired one effortlessly. Ren had to admit that the other one was good looking. He was tall, muscular and his personality was not bad either. Looking back it was no surprise that Takumi had fallen for the blonde one and chosen to stay at his side.  
At first he was just heartbroken yet soon afterwards he started to throw up the first petals. It got worse every week and now he was throwing up whole blossoms already, pink lilies in the same colour as Takumi’s hair…  
Suddenly, Ren heard someone entering the bathroom. Panic stricken he tried to put away the flowers as fast as possible yet the flowers were too big to simply throw them away. 

Junki did not pay attention to him and went straight to the next sink. There he threw up, too. At first, Ren was worried that his friend had eaten something bad, but then he saw that the black haired singer was throwing up flowers, too. Unlike him the other one was throwing up violets.  
“You too?”  
“And because of the same couple.” Junki sank down in front of the sink. “We are both throwing up blossoms already. You know what that means?”  
“Yes. We are going to die soon.” 

When Ren’s disease had started he immediately went for a check and the doctor had him explained everything related to it. At first it had been too early for an operation yet he knew that he had do it soon or else he would die. But something inside of him prevented him from deciding for the operation. He did not want to forget Takumi or their time together.  
“There is hope.”  
“I know.”  
“I will do it. It’s getting in the way of my singing. I love him but I love singing too…”  
That statement did not surprise Ren. His friend was always singing, at least until recently. He had already wondered what had been the reason why the other one had stopped. “When is your operation?”  
“Tomorrow. Means I will have enough time to recover until the next schedules.”  
“That’s good.”  
“When are you going to do it?”, the concern in Junki’s voice was strong. 

However, Ren did not reply.  
“You have to. We can’t loose you.”  
The silver haired dancer knew that his friend was not wrong. But all the memories he had were precious to him. He did not want to loose them. “I know.”  
“Please. If I can do it, you can also do it.”  
“I know, but…”  
“No buts. We need you. He needs you, too. Maybe not as a lover, but he needs you.”  
“Since when are you so mature, Junki?”  
“Spending time with Sho rubs off. And not being able to sing, made me think.”  
“You can think?”  
“Unlike you I graduated from university, so yes I’m the brain of the two of us.”

Somehow, the statement made Ren laugh. It had been a while since he did it last. It felt good until the flowers were filling his throat again. More flowers than before came out of him and Junki had to help him to stand up afterwards.  
“You should take my appointment tomorrow. Your case is worse.”  
“Yes I should…” His brain agreed to the statement yet his heart still hurt at the thought of forgetting the other one. 

“Ren is at the hospital? What happened?” The news of the dancer’s hospitalisation were a shock to Takumi. He had noticed that Ren had not been well recently, yet he assumed that it was because of the stress. Everyone had been exhausted recently.  
Yet, no one knew the reason. The only one who apparently knew something was Junki who had brought him to the hospital but the black haired singer had not replied any messages since then.  
As fast as he could Takumi rushed to the hospital and looked for Ren. Because they were not related in any way, it proved more difficult than expected yet in the very last moment he managed to find him. 

The sight was even a bigger shock than the news of the hospitalisation. The grey haired dancer was connected to an artificial respiration machine and paler than freshly fallen snow. “Oh my god. What happened?”  
“Please leave. We have to remove the flowers now or he will die.”, the doctor tried to push him away, yet Takumi was frozen and clung to the bed frame.  
He had wondered where the lilies in their dorm had come from, but he would have never guessed their origin. Normally he had seen pink lilies only when his grandmother gifted him those for his birthday cause apparently those were his birth flowers. 

In that moment a realisation hit the pink haired singer. He was the cause. Ren must have loved for awhile and judging from his condition he must have developed Hanahaki. And he… he had been with Keigo a lot recently.  
“Ren, please don’t give up! It’s not how you think it is! Keigo is just a friend.”  
Still no response from the grey haired one and the nurses still tried to pull him away.  
“Listen to me. Keigo and me are just friends. We were planning your birthday. It’s soon, isn’t it?”, with every second Ren did not respond, Takumi became more desperate. “Don’t go, Ren. I love you. That’s why I wanted to make the most awesome birthday ever for you.”  
However, in that moment the nurses managed to pull him away and the bed was pushed into the operation room. 

The next minutes or hours, Takumi did not know how much time had passed, felt like an eternity. Restlessly he walked up and down in the waiting hall and soon the other members came, too. Only Junki was missing to everyone’s surprise. Since he had been the one who informed them about Ren’s hospitalisation they assumed to find him there.  
However, when they were still anxiously waiting for news about Ren, a doctor came. “Are you the friends of Mr. Kono? His operation was a success and he requested to see you when he woke up.”  
The group did not know whether they should be confused or shocked about the news. Why did Junki need an operation? Everyone had noticed that the singer had been more quiet recently, yet he did not seem sick. 

Due the lack of news regarding Ren everyone rushed into Junki’s room. The singer happily greeted everyone yet when Keigo hugged him he was pushed him away. “Who are you?”  
In that moment Takumi realised what happened to his friend. Just like Ren had assumed that something was going on between him and Keigo, Junki must have believed the same and developed the same disease.  
“Junkichi, it’s me Keigo, your best friend and sugar daddy.”  
“No, my best friend is called Minato. And why would I need a sugar daddy?”  
“Stop making jokes, Junkichi.”, Keigo’s voice sounded like he was close to cry.  
“I’m not joking. Have we met before?”  
“Yes we are in the same group, JO1, and-.”, the blonde one tried his best to make the other one remember him, but it did not seem successful.  
Seeing the interaction made Takumi scared for the moment, Ren would return. Was he too late and Ren would also not remember him anymore? Or was he too late and the doctors had not been able to save him?

It took some time but eventually Ren’s bed was pushed into the same room as Junki’s one.  
Takumi rushed to his side, took his hand and to his relief, it was still warm.  
This meant that at least the dancer was saved. Even if he was forgotten it was something Takumi could live with. He was alive and that mattered the most. Yet tears still rolled over his cheeks.  
“Why are you crying?”, he suddenly heard a soft voice next to him.  
He looked up and Ren smiled softly at him. “You are even cute when you cry.”  
“Stop it, I’m not cute.” He could help but throw his arms around the other one. “Never scare me that much again.”  
“If you don’t leave my side.”  
“Deal.”

In their shared happiness they did not notice how the realisation of the situation hit Keigo who broke down in tears while hugging Junki who looked more confused than before. “I’m sorry Junkichi”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I managed to write the first chapter of the Hanahaki AUs!  
> I hope you liked it & please your thoughts in comments.


	2. Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Due his pokerface and his personality Sukai was always a lonely person. Joining Produce 101 changed his life and meeting Ren changed it even more. Yet suddenly, he started to develop breathing problems.

**_Pairings:_ ** _RenKai (one sided), RenKumi  
Canon AU_

**Breath**

Sukai was used to be alone. He was not the most social person even though he tended to feel lonely at times yet approaching people wasn’t easy to him. To add to his misery, his face sometimes scarred off other people.  
Back in school days he had joined the drama club to work on his facial expression skills and to gain some friends, but the friendships he made there felt superficial to him and his face stayed the same most of time which earned him the role of the villain more than once.  
It was alright for awhile, yet when he graduated high school and went to university, he was back to where he had started, lonely without friends. 

Everything changed when he joined the audition program “Produce 101”. He met a boy named Sora there and they instantly connected. While they were separated already during the class evaluation, their bond grew stronger and Sukai felt like he gained a younger brother. Around Sora he was able to let go of his pokerface, the name that his facial expression had gained during the program.  
Also, thanks to Sora he was able to make new friends. 

Finally, he was not feeling lonely anymore.  
Because of this, it was crushing when Sora was eliminated while he was slowly climbing in the ranks.  
Everything was like a dream, sometimes it was like a good one and sometimes like a nightmare. However, while he kept missing Sora, his new found friends made sure that he did not feel lonely anymore.

Also, around the same time Sukai started to become close to someone he had admired for some time already: Kawashiri Ren.  
He was also not alone in admiring Ren, pretty much everyone admired the talented trainee, yet being noticed by him, made Sukai feel overjoyed. His own abilities were nothing compared to Ren’s ones, yet the older one kept praising him when he did something correctly or helped him to work on the things he needed to improve in. Sometimes it was unbelievable to him that someone like Ren had noticed him besides never being in the same team.

Becoming a JO1 member was a shock to Sukai. He had never been in the Top 11 before and unlike other trainees he had no experience beforehand. Something inside of him told him he did not deserve to debut, yet when Ren congratulated and hugged him, all anxiety disappeared. Sukai realised that he would stand on stage with Ren which made the announcement even better. 

After the final the newly formed group went for debut training to Korea. The training was hard, especially for Sukai. During the program they had more time to learn everything and even that longer longer period felt often too short for someone as inexperienced as Sukai.  
He gave his everything every day which eventually made him collapse from oxygen lack. When he woke up again, Ren was right beside him with tears in his eyes. “Finally, you woke up! I’m so sorry that I asked too much from you.”  
The tone in Ren’s voice was something Sukai never heard before. It was a mix of shock and worry. On the one hand, it made Sukai feel apologetic that he became the reason for this, yet on the other hand somehow it made his heart beat faster that Ren cared so much for him. 

Naturally, when they were asked to vote who should become their leader Sukai voted for Ren. Looking back he had to agree that his vote was written like love letter but seeing Ren’s smile when he read the vote made all embarrassment disappear. In the end, Ren did not become their leader, making Ren smile had been worth it.

Afterwards, Sukai discovered more sides of the silver haired dancer. While he was the perfect idol when it came to anything music related, outside of practise, Ren was like a kid sometimes. He usually smiled about everything and loved games. No matter what they wanted to do, Ren made a game out of it and usually won those. He was cute, Sukai thought.

Around Ren it was impossible for Sukai to keep his pokerface up. Around Ren he could not help but smile each time, too. Around Ren he felt lightly and he liked that feeling. Syoya teased him about that, he even said that Sukai was in love, but Sukai knew better. Everyone would feel like that when they were in the same group as their idol and said idol kept praising them. It was something natural.  
Furthermore, it wasn’t like he was not in a good mood when he spend time with other members.  
He spend a lot of time with the other 00-liners besides the fact that he was the only one who was not dieting and even questioning why they felt like they need a diet.  
He also spend a lot time with Sho. The leader had a calm aura which Sukai often needed after spending time with the chaotic 00-liners or S4 like were called now. 

However, spending time with Ren and learning from him was his favourite. Takumi often joined them, too, and sometimes he got envious how Ren showered the pink haired singer with compliments. He tried his best to impress the dancer, yet Takumi just needed to sit around and Ren kept calling him cute. Sukai had to admit that some of Takumi’s behaviours were cute and he deserved to be called their princess, but Ren’s behaviour outside of practise was much cuter and especially his smile which made his eyes disappear was the cutest. The dancer looked like a cute fox when he was smiling and his personality was also like the one of a fox. And Sukai loved foxes.

Eventually, Sukai had to yield to himself that he had fallen for the silver haired dancer. Ren had all qualities that Sukai had also looked for in girls. But he also knew that it was something impossible. They were at an early stage of their career and an old picture of him had already caused some trouble. He did not want to create any more problems. Ren had worked so hard for this.  
Yet he could not stop his heart from beating faster every time he was close to him. He could relate to all fangirls in the audience when Ren showed his gap during the fanmeetings. Sometimes he wanted to run to him, hug him and carry him from the stage to keep him for himself. Luckily, his pokerface was strong enough that no one noticed such thoughts inside of his head. 

However, sometimes he felt like someone had found out about his feelings. During the promotions he was rarely put near Ren. Usually this was explained by their rank and their height, yet Sukai could not help but feel disappointed. They did spend time with each other behind the scenes, yet he also wanted to have pictures of them, not just for his sake but also for the sake of the fans. They were fans who liked seeing them together, he had found out. So, he did his best to act as subdued as possible. For example, he did not choose Ren in the boyfriend questions.  
Yet slowly, all the stress because of their debut and not being able to get closer to silver haired dancer made him short of breath sometimes. 

Luckily, it seemed to work and slowly he got his moments with the dancer in front of the cameras, too. Obviously, everything stayed on a visible friendship or brother level unlike Ren’s interactions with Takumi sometimes. Their closeness made Sukai jealous and the jealously made breathing difficult sometimes, yet for the sake of the group he let not show it.  
That was one of the reasons why he involved himself planning something special for Ren’s birthday. He made sure that Keigo would get Ren’s favourite cake for their surprise party and that the dancer would enjoy the cake fully by pushing his head into it. He knew that the birthday boy wouldn’t mind that, even expected that, and Sukai was a S4 member anyway. He had some chaotic energy, too, he just knew when he could let it loose.  
The party afterwards had been fun and seeing Ren’s smile about their gifts made his heart go crazy. Even his mind went crazy because more than once he wanted to kiss that smile. Yet their manager was present, too, so he tried his best to keep his pokerface. 

However, when their manager left, someone else was faster to take his chance with the birthday boy.  
“Ne Ren-kun. Did you read my birthday message?”, asked Takumi with a sly smile.  
Earlier, Ruki had taken care of the card, so Sukai had no idea what the pink haired singer or everyone else had written.  
“Yes I did. I’ve read all messages. Why are you asking?”  
“Then, what did I write?”  
The birthday boy took the card again and re-read the message. “… I love you.” For a second he looked confused until it seemed like that something dawned him. “Are you serious?”  
“Of course, I am.”

That was the moment that crushed Sukai more than Sora’s elimination: Ren pulled Takumi closer and kissed him.  
Seeing the kiss made Sukai unable to breath. Panic started to build up inside of him and he barely noticed what was going on around him. He did not hear Junki jokingly complaining that he also wrote “I love you” but did not get a kiss or the cheers of the others that both finally stopped pinning for each other.  
He had to get out he knew and somehow he made it to the bathroom. He wasn’t even able to cry because of his throat felt like he was choked. When he was sure he would die in the next seconds, he felt something coming out of it finally.

However instead of sobs, white flowers fell from his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I wanted to finish the requests first, but then this idea put itself into my head.  
> I love how Sukai gets soft around Ren every time, so I am a little sorry for making him suffer here.  
> I hope you enjoyed the story anyway and please leave your thoughts in the comments!


	3. Unknown affection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kosuke doesn't like idols, but his younger sister drags him along anyway. Ruki, his sister's favourite idol notices him in the crowd and somehow the two of them become close. However, Ruki has a secret...

**Pairing:** _YasuRuki (Honda Kosuke & Shiroiwa Ruki)_   
**Idol AU**

**Unknown Affection**

Sometimes Kosuke wanted to put up his younger sister for sale on mercari. He hated idol concerts, yet she dragged him to one, Even worse, it happened with the blessing of their parents because they were worried about her returning home all alone at night.   
It was beyond awkward to be the only guy in crowd full of half dying fangirls and the concert had not even started yet. Also, because it was a venue which only had seats, he was forced to sit on the seat printed on his ticket – front row, right in the middle next to his sister who somehow had more luck than braincells.   
Suddenly, it got dark and the screams of the girls around him got worse. The concert of YsR started and a bunch of guys who all looked the same entered the stage. While the music was bearable, he was ready to go home after the second song. It did not help that the centre guy somehow kept starring at him. He had probably never seen a guy in the crowd before, Kosuke assumed. 

After the live his sister of course had to line up to take a cheki with her favourite member, that centre guy which had starred at Kosuke during the live. Of course, she had assumed that Ruki, which was centre guy's fancy name, had finally noticed her, so she had spent even more money for a picture opportunity after the live. Meanwhile Kosuke was damned to stay even longer because more fans were stupid enough to waste money for a picture. At least the bar of the venue had some decent drinks.   
He did not have to look up to know when the YsR members finally appeared, their fans were loud enough. However instead of going to the waiting crowd, that Ruki guy also went to the bar. “Hello.”, he said with a smile when he stood next to Kosuke.   
His smile was the perfect idol smile which annoyed Kosuke. How could his sister and all the other girls fall for such a fake smile?, he wondered. “Hey.”   
“It’s rare that guys come to our shows.”   
“My sister dragged me along.”   
“That’s what I thought when I saw your face. I hope you enjoyed it anyway and you will come again.”   
“We will see.” 

Eventually, Kosuke had to go to another live of YsR. When Ruki spotted him in crowd, his smile changed somehow. Like the professional idol he was, he was smiling all the time, yet suddenly that smile seemed more natural in Kosuke's eyes. He had no idea why and he did not want to care, yet somehow it made him wonder.  
After the live the same procedure as the time before took place. His sister still assumed that the idol had noticed her, so she had spent money for a short meet & greet while Kosuke was waiting at the bar. He wondered how she could afford everything with her pocket money...   
“Nice to see you again.” Also, toothpaste smile Ruki appeared on his side again.   
“Hey.”   
“How did you like it today?”   
“It was alright.” Having his sister playing the songs 24/7 made him used the music to the point that he actually liked some songs. However, he did not want to admit that.   
“I’m gonna make you like us.”   
“Good luck. My sister is waiting for you, so hurry up. I want to go home.”   
“But I want to talk to you.”   
“Why?”   
“You seem like a good listener.”   
“When you have a younger sister, who is an idol fan, you have no choice but to become a listener.”   
“Good to know.” Suddenly, Ruki scribbled something on a napkin and gave it to Kosuke. “But don’t share it with her.”   
After the idol left, Kosuke took a closer look at the napkin. Apparently, he just got Ruki’s LINE ID and again he had no idea why that happened. Why was that guy so fixated on him, he wondered.

The next day he indeed contacted Ruki on LINE, yet it was for the sole reason to virtually yell at him for whatever he did to his sister the day before. She had gotten even worse and did not stop fawing about the idol and his perfectness. 

_**Yasupon** : What the hell did you with my sister last night?   
**Ruki** : Yasupon? Such a cute name _  
Mentally, Kosuke made a note to change his LINE-name back to his real name later.   
_**Yasupon** : Whatever. Answer my question   
**Ruk** i: She wanted a Cinderella pose for her pic. That’s what I did   
**Yasupon** : Why?   
**Ruki** : Why not?   
**Yasupon** : Because she doesn’t shut up about you anymore.   
**Ruki** : We could meet, then you don’t have to listen to her anymore~ _

Technically, Ruki was the last person he wanted to see in that moment, yet somehow Kosuke agreed. An hour later he met Ruki at some fancy café.   
The café was exactly the place where you expect meeting someone named Shiroiwa Ruki, Kosuke thought. It wasn’t cheap, the interior looked like everything was imported from overseas and everyone inside was fashionable. However, what he did not expect was to be greeted by a bouquet with flowers in the same colour as his hair.   
“Why are you giving it to me?”   
“I saw them on my way here and they reminded me of you.”   
“Thanks I guess? But I have no clue about flowers.”   
“Those are called Clivia or Bush lilies.”   
“Good to know.”   
“So Yasupon-”   
“Don’t call me that. My name is Kosuke.”   
“But I like Yasupon.” That time Ruki showed some smug smile. “I’m happy that you agreed.”   
“Why did you want to meet me anyway?”   
“I like talking to you.”   
“We barely talked before.”   
“Time to change that.” 

It indeed changed. Ruki seemed to be able to talk for hours, yet Kosuke was not bothered by that. The other one had some interesting things to tell and Kosuke learned more about the life of an idol. Also, his talking voice was pleasing to listen to.  
As annoying as it was as an older brother of a fan, Ruki’s rent actually depended on making as much fanservice as he could. Fawning fangirls were willing to spend more money on him and his group and more money meant that he would be able to pay his bills without taking up another job. Ruki had his limits of what he was willing to do, yet being on stage was his dream which he did not want to give up.   
Somehow Kosuke listening to the reality of an idol-life felt sorry for the other one. No one should bend himself that much so that his dream could stay alive, he thought. Also, thanks to this Ruki seemed more human to him now.   
“I think I understand you now., But I still don’t get is why you seem to like me.”   
“As I said before, I like good listeners and you are one.”   
“A lot of other people are that, too.”   
“Maybe. But you don’t judge and it feels good to share your worries with someone outside that world.”   
“Who says I’m not judging you?”   
“You can’t fool me, Yasupon.” 

After this meeting Kosuke and Ruki started to exchange messages daily. Ruki usually messaged him at the weirdest night times, yet for some reason Kosuke was often still awake at that time. Most of the time their conversations were about Ruki’s activities, but they talked or wrote about everything. Surprisingly, they had a lot in common. They both liked similar artists and comedians. Also, both of them used to play football when they were younger.   
Everything seemed alright until the day, Kosuke’s sister came crying into his room. “YsR is going to disband.”, was all he understood between her sobs. 

When she finally left, he contacted Ruki, yet for once he did not reply on the spot. It took until 4AM when he suddenly got a call via the app.   
“Do you know what time it is?”   
“Sorry.” Ruki’s voice sounded awful. “But I wanted to hear your voice.”   
The more Ruki spoke, the more Kosuke became worried. Awful was an understatement to decribe the state of the idol's voice. “But you sound like you shouldn’t talk.”   
“It’s okay.”   
“You don’t sound okay. Is it because of the disbandment?”   
“Partly. We are disbanding because I can’t sing anymore. But that's just one reason of serval ones”   
That explanation shocked the red haired one. Last time he saw him, Ruki had sounded normally. “What? What happened? Are you sick?”   
“In some way, yes.”   
“Is there a cure?”   
“There is, but it’s not easy. You don’t have that time as an underground idol.”   
“I’m sure there is some way that you can get well and don’t have to sacrifice your dream.” As much as he disliked idols, Ruki had grown on him.   
“Can we meet tomorrow?”, requested the idol suddenly.   
“Is it okay for your health?”   
“Maybe.” 

The next day they met up at some park. Ruki had requested a more private space than the cafe and during that time of the day barely anyone visited the park they met at. Like the last time, the idol arrived with a bouquet of Bush Lillies for Kosuke.   
“I still don’t get why you are giving them to me.” Yet he took them. “How are you feeling today?”   
“Now that I’ve met you, I’m feeling a little better.”   
“Stop that idol-talk.”   
“No that’s the truth.”   
“So, what disease do you have and why is it so complicated to cure?” Kosuke still hoped there was some way to keep his friends dream alive. “If it’s about money, I can help you. I have saved up some money.”   
“No that’s not...” Ruki looked absolutely crushed in that moment and somehow Kosuke couldn’t help but to take him into his arms. “It’s called Hanahaki. Flowers start to grow in your throat and lungs until you can’t breathe anymore.” 

The red haired one wasn’t sure whether the other one was a good actor and joking or that he was telling the truth. That diagnose seemed absurd. “What? But I thought plants growing in your body is just some scary story you tell kids.”   
“No, it’s rare but real.”   
“And the cure?”   
“You can remove them, but it removes something else, too.”   
“Your ability to sing?” At least this would explain why his friend had not done it yet, thought Kosuke.   
“No, the memories of the person which caused the disease.”   
In that moment Kosuke didn’t understand anything anymore. Flowers growing in your body? Okay, there could be some logical explanation for that, but that one was neither an explanation nor logical. “Stop joking.”   
“It’s the truth.”   
“If you are not telling me the truth, I’ll leave.” Slowly, the red haired one became mad. He broke the hug and pushed the other one away. He had come to cheer the other one up and maybe help him, but right now he was just hearing some bullshit.   
“It is the truth! I don’t want to forget.”   
“Then you are stupid. No person is worth that much that you should be willing to die for them."

“Then I am stupid, but I don’t want to forget the only person who was willing to look behind the idol I am and see me as human, too. I don’t want to forget you.” In that moment Ruki broke and started to cry.   
Immediately, Kosuke froze. He could not proceed that he was the cause for that weird disease. ”What?”, he whispered.   
“Hanahaki is caused when your love is not required. I don’t know how, but when I spotted you, my heart started to race. The more I talked to you, the harder I fell for you. But I also knew that you don’t have the same feelings.”   
It took Kosuke another few moments to proceed all information. There was a disease triggered by unrequired love which caused flowers to grow inside one's body. Hard to believe, yes, but seeing the other like that made it somehow believable. However, it was harder to believe that the other one loved him that much that he developed that disease. Kosuke wasn't someone who believed in love at the first sight, yet apparently that happened to the other one and he was the one without doing anything special. However, in the short time they knew each other, Ruki had become someone important to him, someone more important than he wanted to admit until the moment when he pulled the crying one into a hug. “Why are you assuming this?”   
“You don’t like idols and I’m the favourite idol of your sister.”   
“True, but you are wrong at the same. I don’t like YsR’s Ruki, but Shiroiwa Ruki is a pretty cool guy if he doesn’t message me at 4AM. You said yourself that I am someone who sees you as a human, too, and that’s true.” He pulled Ruki even closer and caressed his hair. “I don’t know whether my feelings for you are sufficient to cure you, but please don’t think I don’t like you. I like you, Shiroiwa Ruki and I don’t want to lose you. But if this is not enough, please do the removal. I would rather have you forget me then knowing there is a grave with your name somewhere.” 

That was finally the moment when for the first time since Ruki had realised his feelings for the other boy, he felt like he could breathe properly again. He felt that the flowers had disappeared from his airways.   
However, some mischevious part of him wanted to celebrate the moment properly even if it meant that he had to use a small lie. “Kiss me. Maybe this helps.”, he whispered as desperately as he could.   
And Kosuke kissed his him as asked. It felt better than in all of Ruki’s dreams.   
“You actually did not need it, did you?”, asked the red haired one when they separated, yet for once Ruki did not say anything. 

Kosuke spend the rest of the day with his apparently new boyfriend and when he returned home, he found his younger sister arranging a flower bouquet.   
“You finally found a boyfriend?”   
“No, it’s for Ruki. Those are marble plants, his birth flower. I made it just for him.”   
For a moment Kosuke was debating whether he should tell her about him and Ruki, yet he decided it was probably better to prepare her slowly for the news. “If you say so.”   
“You will never understand, how much I love him.”, she whispered when he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter surely turned out very differently from the other ones of this series, but I hope you liked it anyway!  
> Please leave your thoughts in the comments.  
> Until the next chapter!


	4. Flower Festival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School AU  
> The school festival is coming up and both Shosei and Reito plan to confess to their crushes before it's too late.

_**Pairings:** Ren x Shosei, Shion x Reito  
School AU_

**Flower Festival**

Once Shosei didn’t care much about flowers or his classmate Reito.   
Even though he and Reito had been in the same class for a few months already, Shosei never had talked to him until that fateful day. Well, Shosei never talked to anyone unless he was talked to first because he never felt he had anything interesting to say. Yet somehow both of them were chosen as their class representative for the costume contest during the upcoming school festival. Being at an all-boys school meant that they would need to dress up as girls, something Shosei did not look forward. He also wondered why he was picked. There was no way he would look good in girl’s clothes because he was too manly in his opinion. However, there was no chance in arguing against 30 other boys. Shosei still secretly hoped that because they were two stages at the school festival, it could collide with the performance of the dance club, yet the contest was the most popular attraction, so there were no other performances usually scheduled at the same time. 

After that humiliating class, Shosei wanted to go home on the spot, but Syoya, who was also in charge of the class’ pet bunny, Kuro, had been absent that day, so he had to take care of it. When he wanted to get some water to clean the bunny’s cage, he found Reito in the bathroom, throwing up flowers.   
“Guess, I’m not the only one.”   
He did not realise he had voiced his thoughts until the other boy looked shockingly at him. “What do you mean? You too?” While Reito had looked miserable at first, that changed and he went towards the blonde boy. “I won’t lose to you. I’m not suffering that long to give Shion up.” 

Spontaneously, Shosei assumed that his classmate was talking about the 2nd year student Tokonami Shion. The guy had a nice voice and was quite popular because of it. “What? No. I don’t even know him. He is our senior and we are not even in the same club.”   
“Not that Shion. Our cool and handsome Shion.”   
There was only one other Shion, Shosei knew of: their classmate Tsurubo Shion who was quite the troublemaker, at least when he was awake in class for once. “No way. He is not my type.”   
“Good for you.” Reito seemed more relaxed now and started to clean up the flowers. “Then who is your reason to puke flowers?” 

“Kawashiri Ren.” Ren was Shosei’s senior in the dance club and from the first time Shosei had seen him dance, his heart beat faster every time they trained together.   
One day after practise he suddenly started to throw up flowers, yet he could not bring himself to confess to the other one. Ren was everything Shosei was not and even though the other one occasionally praised him during practise he doubted that he had made a lasting positive impression.   
At first, he thought that he threw up flowers because Ren always smelled like them, but eventually he found out it was a disease, Hanahaki, triggered by unrequited love.   
“Wow, like half of the campus. No surprise that you got that problem. And doesn’t he like that pink haired 2nd year student?”   
“Yeah I know.” The pink haired Kawanishi Takumi was also a member of the dance club and no matter what he did, Ren always praised him and called him cute. Sometimes Shosei wanted to switch bodies with him for a day, just he could feel that loved by Ren at least for that day. “But why did you get it? Shion seems… approachable.” If Shion stopped being the troublemaker from a different planet, he seemed like a okay guy. Also, their class bunny Kuro liked him (which was probably because Kuro always got the vegetables from Shion’s bentos). 

“I wanted to tell him… but he never stays serious long enough.”, Reito sighed. “And I don’t even know whether he likes guys. Maybe I will take my chance during the festival. He said he is looking forward to see me as a girl.” The brown haired boy blushed a little.   
“Provided that you still have enough time left.” Shosei knew that he himself had not much time left, yet he always found new excuses why he wasn’t able to do the extraction of the flowers.   
“I think so. If I have no luck during the festival, I’ll do the operation.” Meanwhile, while Reito didn’t look happy, he seemed more willing to do it than Shosei. “But I’m gonna be the prettiest girl, so that he will fall for me. I’ve noted down everything he likes in girls.” At least one of them was happy to be picked for the contest, Shosei thought. “What are you planning to do?”   
“To be honest, I want to get out of it. That’s too embarrassing for me.”   
“You think Ren wouldn’t like it? I heard Pinky is also joining the contest and that would be your chance to beat him.”   
“I’m too manly for this…”, confessed the blonde one which made the other one laugh.   
“Mainly? You? Boy, if you were manly we wouldn’t have voted for you.” 

The next day Shosei had dance training after classes and slowly he noticed that the flowers inside of him made it difficult to breathe in strenuous situations. But he had to pull himself through this. The school festival was the only chance to prove himself to Ren who would graduate next spring. To his surprise, however, Ren approached him after practise.   
“You are not sick, are you?”, the older one asked.   
“No, I am alright.” My heart is just jumping out of my ribcage and flowers are stuck in my airways, he added in his mind.   
“Good to hear. I was worried a little during practise cause you seemed to have some problems with your breathing. But if everything is fine, then I want you to join my team for the dance performance.”   
Shosei could not believe what he just heard. Ren wanted him in his team and had asked him personally. “Yes! Which song do you have in mind?”   
“Seventeen’s Highlight.”   
The song’s choreography wasn’t the easiest one, especially in Shosei’s current condition, but he didn’t want to let go of the chance. “Let’s give our best then.” 

To add to his luck, Takumi was in a different team, so the practises for the school festival were more enjoyable than the usual ones. Despite his condition Shosei gave 1000% and it actually worked to impress his senior. Ren kept praising him and it seemed like this worked like a cure, too. While he still felt like his throat was clogged, he didn't throw up any flowers anymore.  
However, when the day of the festival came Shosei felt awful. He was barely able to breathe in the morning and his parents wanted him to stay at home because they assumed that he caught a cold. As stubborn as he was, he went to the festival anyway. He hoped that seeing Ren would make him feel better, yet his first task for the day was the costume contest.   
When he arrived, Reito was already there and fought with the yukata he picked. “Help me.”, he begged. 

Luckily, because he came from Kyoto, Shosei knew how to put on yukatas, so he was able to help his classmate. “Why did you pick something that complicated?”   
“Shion said he like cute and modest girls and this outfit fits perfectly.”   
Before Shosei could comment on that however, he felt sick again and threw up some flowers. He was barely able to breathe and slowly panic started to build up. He felt like all the flowers of the recent weeks wanted to come out at once. Reito rushed to his side and helped him to stand up after the worst had passed.   
“Shit, you need to confess right now or you won’t survive the day.”   
“I.. Thought.. I was cured. I... barely felt it recently.” Talking was difficult in his state, so Shosei’s voice was quieter than usually.   
“You are an idiot.” 

“Who is an idiot?” Suddenly, Shion entered the room where they were supposed to change for the contest.   
For a moment Shosei panicked because he had no idea how to explain the situation, yet Reito came to his rescue again. “Shosei. He is sick but came anyway.”   
“Damn, we need two representatives for the contest. Guess, I have to do that now.”   
“What?”, said the original contestants simultaneously. Shion dressed up as a girl I something both boys couldn’t imagine.   
“It sounds like fun, but no one picked me during the vote. Guess destiny gave me another chance.” Shion’s smile suggested that he was serious to the surprise of the other ones. “But you guys already got fan gifts, it seems like.” He said while pointing to the flowers unaware that Shosei had thrown them up.   
“No, those are my ones... I wanted to use them for my outfit.”, was the fastest excuse that came into Shosei’s mind.   
“Wow you sound awful.” As always Shion was quite direct with his comments. “Leave your clothes here, I’m gonna do it.”   
Shosei would have lied if he said that he wasn't happy to get out of the contest in the last minute, so he gladly gave Shion the bag with the clothes he prepared for the event. At least once that damned sickness had a positive aspect.   
When he wanted to leave, Reito pulled him into a hug. “Find Kawashiri and confess. If that doesn’t work, go straight to a doctor. Please don’t die today. The school festival is supposed a happy day.”, he said quietly, so that Shion wouldn't hear him.

Finding Ren was not hard. As expected, he was in the practise room of their dance club, practising the choreography. At first, he did not notice the newly arrived Shosei because he was deeply focused on dancing.   
The look Ren had in his moment was the thing that made Shosei fall for him in the beginning. He had never seen anyone more beautiful while dancing. That the older one also had gentle personality made him only fall deeper. He wanted to admire the silver haired one a little longer, yet another wave of flowers started to clog his throat and he felt on his knees. He tried hard to keep them inside, so that Ren wouldn’t notice anything, yet it took all his power, so he had none left to leave.   
In that moment Ren also noticed him and he rushed to his side. “Shosei, what’s going on? Are you sick?” 

Shosei wanted to nod, but the flowers became too much and he spit the first ones while fighting to catch a breath. Unexpected from Ren’s slender body, the older one lifted him and brought him to the next bathroom where Shosei let go off all the flowers his body wanted to get rid of. With every second that passed he became more panicked that the flowers would kill him now and also Ren’s face became more and more horrified. Fortunately, after what seemed to be an eternity the flowers finally stopped and the younger one was able to breathe again. Ren kept holding him and stroke his back the whole time. “Why didn’t you say anything?”   
“I wanted to stay in the team.”   
“That’s not what I meant.” Gently, Ren took the younger one’s chin and turned his head in his direction. “Is it because of me? Do you like me?”   
If the flowers didn’t kill him, his heart would do the job now, Shosei thought. Being that close to Ren made it go crazy. Yet he knew that it was the only chance he had left. “Yes.” 

The word had just left his mouth when Ren got even closer and kissed him. At once too many feelings went through Shosei. His heart beat like the wings of a Colibri, his throat cleared up and his mind had a hard time to process that Ren was indeed kissing him.   
“I.. I.. You.” He wanted to say something when they parted, yet he couldn’t voice his thoughts, so he took a deep breath and tried again. “You like me, too? I thought... I thought you like Kawanishi.”   
“Takumi? No, he is like a little brother to me. He is cute, yes, but he likes Heecheon anyway.” Heecheon was one of the Korean exchange students at their school and due his heigh and looks, he was nearly as popular as Ren. “But you are cuter.” Suddenly, Ren blushed. “I just did not have the courage to confess to you... I’m going to graduate next spring, so we won’t have much time left together here.”   
“I don’t care.” Overjoyed Shosei hugged the older one. 

Suddenly, they heard the announcement that the contest was about to start. “Wait, shouldn’t you participate, too?”   
“Shion took over.”   
“Tokonami Shion? I thought he is a 2nd year student and every class has to send two representatives.”   
“Tsurubo Shion. He is from my class.”   
“Ah that alien kid. Too bad, I actually looked forward to see you in girl’s clothes. I’m sure you would have looked cute.” As cute as Ren’s smile was in that moment, Shosei couldn’t relate. Why did everyone wanted to see him as a girl? He wasn’t cute. 

Eventually, the stage time for their stage show came and now that Shosei was cured it everything went well. After the show Reito, still in his girl’s clothes, ran to him while dragging Shion behind him. Their classmate was also still in the girls' outfit, but even as a girl he looked a troublemaker and pretty much the opposite of how Shosei had imagined himself in that outfit. “Everything went well for you, too? I’m so happy.”, said Reito while hugging him.   
“No flirting with other guys, Machiko! We just started dating.” Shion was obviously not happy about the hug, but Shosei had to laugh when Reito was pulled from his arms to Shion’s ones.   
“Don’t worry girls. He is mine already.”, joined Ren the conversation and kissed Shosei on the cheek which made the blonde one blush.   
As awful as the day had started, the end of it was a good one and for Shosei the smell of flowers became the smell of his boyfriend and not the one of a disease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a wrap! For now at least. All requests are done.   
> Hanahaki is truly an awesome prompt and it was fun to write all those stories.  
> However, if there is a Hanahaki prompt you want me to write, feel free to contact me here or in Twitter (@pompom_lotus)!  
> Also, my PROTOSTAR copies and my pdjp sweatshirt are finally shipped so unless COVID-19 also messes up anything related to deliveries I can fangirl later this week.  
> So have fun reading it!


	5. Forget-me-not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate ending of "Lilies and Voilets" in which Ren did the operation and Takumi struggels with his feelings cause he loves Ren. To add to his misery, Ren forgets him every night.

**_Pairings:_ ** _RenKumi, slight JunKeigo  
Canon AU, alternate ending of "Lilies and Violets"_

**Forget-me-not**

The moment Ren did not remember him anymore, Takumi’s heart shattered.   
It had been shocking to hear that Ren was in the hospital because he needed an emergency operation. He had not even known that the older one had been sick. However, hearing what kind of disease Ren had and that he had been the cause of it, crushed Takumi. Hanahaki... the legendary flower disease which you could develop when your love isn’t returned. Yet, what no one knew was that Ren’s feelings were returned. Takumi also loved Ren; he just never had the confidence to confess.   
And now, he hated himself for being a coward. His cowardness had endangered his beloved and now he was punished by Ren forgetting him. The pink haired singer felt like he deserved that for hurting the other one that much. 

To add to his pain, Keigo and Junki had their happy-end at the same time. Junki had also developed Hanahaki, but Keigo managed to confess on time. From what Takumi heard, it must have been in the last minute, because Junki had been close to do the extraction, too, which made seeing the two of them happy even worse for Takumi. If he just had been faster... 

The next day, Ren was discharged from the hospital and everyone welcomed him back at their dorm. Takumi was determined to restart at least their friendship, yet when he greeted the silver haired dancer, he was met with confusion. “Have we met before?”   
“Yes. I’m Takumi and your friend. I was at the hospital yesterday, too.”   
“You were?”, helplessly Ren looked at the other members.   
“Yes, he was.”, confirmed Ruki. “You also didn’t remember him yesterday.”   
“Oh.”   
Meanwhile, Takumi was close to crying. Ren had forgotten him again. Being forgotten once broke his heart already, but now it hurt even more. And the worst part was, that it was all his fault. 

The day was filled with all kind of things Ren liked. They played games, Sho cooked Ren’s favourite dish and they listened to Ren’s playlist. Takumi wanted to participate, but he was hurting too much. He just stood at the side lines while regretting his choice not to confess.   
The other members tried to include him and Ren seemed to be confused, too, yet in the end Takumi was the first one to return to his room.   
Regrets made him stay awake the whole night, so when he came down for breakfast the next morning, he looked worse than after a whole day of practise. 

At first, breakfast seemed to be business as usual, yet destiny decided to become even more cruel towards Takumi when Ren suddenly asked: “Are you a new staff member?”   
Due being shocked Takumi was unable to answer at that moment.   
“Stop joking, Ren. It’s Takumi. You saw him yesterday.”, Junki said.   
“Did I?”, Ren seemed to be clueless.   
“Yes. You two didn’t speak much, but he is also a member.”   
“We are eleven members?”   
Sho who was sitting next to Ren looked more worried than during the previous two days. “Yes, we are eleven members.”, he confirmed. “I think we need to talk to the doctor today.”   
“But I feel fine.”   
“That’s the third day in a row you forgot Takumi.”   
“Oh.” 

At the same time, Takumi felt like crying again. Ren had forgotten him again because he was too late. Because he was a coward. Because he wasn’t able to tell the other one how he felt. Because he was an idiot.   
Without finishing his breakfast, Takumi went back to his room where he finally let go of his tears. He felt he did not deserve to be comforted by the other members exactly because the whole situation was his fault. 

Takumi didn’t know how long he had cried when he heard a knock on his door.   
“Takumi, do you have a moment?” It was Sho and even though Takumi didn’t want to see anyone, he couldn't’ say no to their leader, so he went to the door.   
When he opened it, the leader hugged him. “I talked to the doctor. It’s a rare side-effect that can happen when the feelings were very strong for the other person.” That explanation made Takumi feel only worse cause it made him regret his cowardness even more. “But he suggested that you two should spend time together, so that new lasting memories can form. It might take some weeks, but he was positive that it won’t last.”   
Weeks? Weeks of waking up every morning wondering if Ren remembers him that day? Only for his hope being crushed over and over. It sounded like some kind of divine punishment in Takumi’s ears. Something he deserved for nearly killing Ren with his cowardness. “I dunno if I can...”   
“You love him.” It was not a question, their leader knew.   
“I nearly killed him. It’s probably better for him that he forgot me.”   
“Don’t say something that stupid.”, said the older one while sighing. “As JO1’s leader, I’m telling you to do that for the sake of our teamwork. If Ren keeps forgetting you, it will cause problems for all of us. But as your friend, I’m telling you not to give up. No one said that Ren can’t fall in love with you again. The parents of a friend of mine divorced some years ago, but re-married recently. And even if that won’t happen, don’t you want at least your friend back?” 

Takumi knew that Sho was right, yet the self-disgust stuck with him. He still felt like he deserved to feel awful and that Ren was better off without him. To avoid the silver haired dancer (& everyone else) Takumi stayed in his room all day. There was also no reason to leave it. To give Ren enough time to recover, no practises were scheduled and Takumi had lost his appetite anyway. The others had tried to call him for lunch and dinner, but he didn’t answer them.   
Later that evening he heard another knock on his door. “No Sho. I don’t want to see anyone right now.”   
“Hey.. It’s not Sho. It’s Ren.”   
That was unexpected. Somehow, it made Takumi a little happy, yet Ren was still the person, he wanted to see the least. It was too painful just to think about him. “What do you want?”   
“I want to talk... The other members said we used to be close.”   
Ren’s voice sounded sad which made Takumi’s heart hurt even more. “Yes, we used to be.”   
“I want us to be close again.” 

As beautiful as those words sounded, they felt like a knife was stabbed into the younger one’s heart. His thoughts revolved on blaming himself for the current situation and how much his actions had hurt the older one. As much as he wanted to be close to him, he was scared to hurt him again. Ren deserved the world and not him. “It’s better for you if we aren’t close.”   
Normally, everyone and especially Ren respected his privacy and didn’t enter his room, yet suddenly the silver haired one entered his room and hugged him. “I’m sorry for not remembering what happened, but don’t blame yourself for it. I’m sure you have nothing to do with it.”   
Instead of replying, tears and sobs broke out of Takumi. If Ren only knew the truth... 

When Takumi woke up the next morning, he was alone in his room again. He had no idea when he had fallen asleep, but it must have been during the time he cried in Ren’s arms. Even though the other one didn’t remember him anymore, he had comforted him. It had been bad for Takumi’s heart.   
Yet in that moment, his head hurt more. The lack of food and water the day before, plus all the crying made his head hurt, so he had no choice but go to the kitchen. He was still not in the mood to see anyone, but he had no choice.   
Everyone was eating breakfast when he arrived, including Ren who smiled at him. For a second Takumi hoped that the older one remembered him, yet that hope was crushed when he spoke. “You must be Takumi. The other members told me a lot about you, but I’m sorry that I can’t remember you. Let’s make new memories together.”   
All Takumi wanted to do in that moment, was to run back into his room and hide from the reality that Ren had forgotten him again. But everyone’s eyes were on him and his head was killing him. “Sure.” was all he managed to say. 

When they restarted their activities and practises, everything seemed to go back to how it was before. Only the mornings were awkward. Luckily, Ren was usually one of the first members who woke up, so until Takumi arrived for breakfast, the members checked on his memory and filled the blanks.   
However, Takumi withdrew himself as soon as their schedules were finished. Everyone tried to bring him out of his room, including a clueless Ren, yet every evening he locked himself into his room. Seeing Ren’s unchanged relationships with the other members hurt and Takumi couldn’t stop to blame himself. Also, seeing Junki and Keigo happy everyday made it worse. If he had been faster, if hadn’t been a coward, that could have been him and Ren, was all Takumi could think off. 

In front of the camera or whatever schedule they had, no one could notice that Ren loses his memory of Takumi every night. They weren’t as close as before, yes, but that could be easily interpreted as stronger bonds had formed between all members. So, when Ren and Takumi were scheduled to record “jamming with JO1” together with Sho after a practise, everything seemed to go well until Ren started talking about the practise. “You know... You should see Takumi during practise. Before he is super cool during it and you would never believe that he started without any experience. Yes, Takumi is the coolest of us.”   
Hearing those words was so nostalgic for Takumi. Before the operation and the memory loss afterwards Ren always talked about him like that. However, that nostalgia made his heart break again. “That’s not true.”   
“And he is so cute when he is as embarrassed as now.”   
It was almost like Ren had never forgotten him and that was far too much for Takumi. He wanted to flee, but the eyes of their staff were on them, so there was no chance to get out.   
“Takumi is cool, yes, but you know.. Ruki is...” He barely registered how Sho tried to change the topic, his mind was spinning too much. 

After he somehow survived the recording, Takumi wanted to flee to his room, yet Ren stopped him. “Did I say anything wrong during the recording? You seemed uncomfortable.”   
“No, it’s not...” How should he explain it? No excuse came into his mind.   
“I might not remember you, but you can talk to me. We used to be best friends, right?”   
“Yes.” Until I nearly killed you with my cowardness, he added mentally.   
“Let’s be close again. I might not remember you, but I feel like someone is missing from my life.”   
“No.” As much as he missed Ren in his life, too, the self-hatred and blame was still too strong. He was too afraid to hurt the other one again.   
“Why? Are you mad that I forget you every night? I’m sorry for this... I swear, I don’t want this. I feel so bad that everyone has to introduce me to you every morning.” The silver haired dancer looked sad at him which only fuelled Takumi’s negative feelings towards himself because he felt like he managed to hurt the silver haired dancer again. 

“I’m not good for you. It’s my fault that it happened.”   
“How?”   
For a second, Takumi wondered, if it was alright to explain the whole story. It seemed like no one ever explained to Ren what had caused his memory loss. “You loved me so much that you developed Hanahaki, a disease that makes flowers grew inside of you. You thought I don’t return your feelings, so it got worse to the point that you nearly died because of it. The doctors made an emergency extraction of the flowers which made you lose the memory of me. Now your body keeps protecting you from the monster I am by forgetting me every night.”   
For a moment, Ren was frozen, but against all of Takumi’s expectations, the older one hugged him. “Don’t call yourself a monster. It’s not your fault that you didn’t return my feelings.” 

All of Takumi’s self-hatred made him want to break out of the hug, yet he had no power. Having Ren’s arms around him was a feeling he had missed and secretly craved. “I am a monster because I could have saved you.”   
“No, you wouldn’t have needed to force yourself to love me.”   
“You don’t understand. I loved you, no, I still do, but I was a coward who was too scared to confess.” He finally confessed, even though he knew it was too late. “I never thought you really liked me. I thought, it was just some kind of fanservice cause the fans liked seeing us together. I ignored the signs that your feelings were honest. I played with your heart until the heartbreak nearly killed you. You don’t deserve someone like me. But I deserve to be forgotten by you.”   
In contrast to his words, Takumi was clinging to the older one in that moment. He had missed Ren's warmth and his smell. Both comforted him, even when he felt like he did not deserve comfort. yet for the moment he allowed himself to be egoistic.

“Don’t say that, Takkun.” He couldn’t believe to hear his nickname from the other one. No one had used it during the day, so how could Ren know it, he wondered. ‘You don’t deserve to blame yourself. It’s not your fault.”   
“Say it again.”   
“It’s not your fault.”   
“Not this. You called me Takkun. It’s the first time since that happened that you called me Takkun.”   
“Okay Takkun.” Ren’s smile was so soft in this moment that Takumi’s mind went crazy. He wanted to kiss him. “Please stop blaming yourself. Let us be close again. Maybe then I won’t forget you in the morning anymore.” 

Finally, Takumi wasn’t able to deny him anymore. Confessing how he felt actually lifted some of the heaviness from his heart and while his self-hatred had not disappeared completely, he was able to allow himself to spend time with the older one.   
Ren, meanwhile, wanted to know as much as possible about their past together, so he dragged the younger one into his room and made him talk about their shared past. The other members had told him some episodes, yet hearing everything from Takumi was different. Eventually, they talked until late at night and both fell asleep on Ren’s bed. 

When Takumi woke up the next morning, Ren’s arms were around him and his face was close to his own which made his heart beat faster. Ren’s sleeping face was beautiful.   
Yet, when the older one became to stir, fear took over Takumi’s mind. The night before had felt so good, he was not ready for the heartbreak that would follow when Ren wouldn’t remember him again. Yet, the arms around him didn’t let him go, so for now fleeing and saving him for an eventual rejection was no option.   
For a millisecond Takumi’s panic became unbearable, but then Ren spoke: “Good morning, Takkun.”   
It only took those three words and all negative feelings disappeared.   
“Why are looking at me like this? Have you seen a ghost?”   
However, instead of saying something, Takumi took the older one’s face into his hands and kissed him. “I will not let you forget me ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! This collection got another chapter!  
> As I said before it's an alternate ending of "Lilies and Violets', but no one ever mentioned what happens after a removal of the flowers besides the memory loss, so it was fun to get this prompt and explore it. I didn't become as angst-y as I planned it.. I just want those two to be happy haha  
> I hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my Hanahaki Au collection! I stumbled about this prompt recently and i instantly knew that I have to try it.  
> All pairings were requests on twitter!


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